Closet Reflections

I’ve been thinking a whole lot about my wardrobe. I have a good-sized closet that’s really quite plentiful. Yet too often when I’m getting ready to go on a date and stand before a sea of garments, I have that sinking “I have nothing to wear” feeling. Contrast that with my professional / career wardrobe. I could easily put together different outfits for several weeks of office attire, and probably not wear the same piece twice.

How did things get so out of balance? Perhaps this is a glaring example of where I’ve unconsciously – or consciously – placed more emphasis over the years.

Time to bring a little equilibrium to these two, very important parts of my life. Besides, some new ensembles will surely give this soon to be super connected woman an added boost of confidence. Like just about every other woman out there on the planet, when I look good, I feel good.

So, on my next trip to New York & Company, I’ll be looking through the “dating” lens as I check out their new fashions. I’m excited just imagining it. I think a whole new world is opening up for me here.

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The Gaze

My ex-boyfriend of all people gave me a really good idea about striking up a potential connection with a date. And, it’s so out of my comfort zone, I just may have to try it.

Of course, I’ve heard about making eye contact and holding the gaze of someone you find attractive – it’s just something I’ve never been able to do. I always get embarrassed and look away, and then look back 10 seconds later*.  I’ve never been the forward type, and besides, isn’t a little shyness attractive? Apparently not, because this strategy has never worked for me. Indeed, not once has the object of my attention approached me.

So over dinner tonight Roger mentioned a relationship expert and author named Dr. Pat Allen who recommends gazing into the eyes of someone you find attractive for a full five seconds – not three and a half or four, but five, long, heart-pounding, time-stopping seconds.

Here’s the precise passage from the book written by Dr. Allen and Sandra Harmon called, Getting To “I Do.”

“Catching a man’s eye for two or three seconds is quite normal. It’s when you continue to look at him for the fourth and fifth second that you indicate you’re interested. You choose him, then attract him to you.”

That actually makes a whole lot of sense. I just hope I remember to breathe.

* All the while hoping he’s still looking at me.

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Soothing Connection

It begins today! The official chronicle of my journey, that is. I’m excited imagining what this year will bring, but also a little nervous at the thought of being so vulnerable, so exposed with my thoughts and feelings. I’m opening myself up by creating this blog, but ultimately I’ve decided it’s worth it. I hope others can relate to my story, and find some inspiration for their lives as well.

We’re all the same deep down inside. We want to be seen, to be known, to be accepted for who we truly are, to make an impact on other people’s lives, and – I believe – to be in connection with those around us, for this is what brings the most joy.

So, to start things off, today I made a point of declaring “Happy New Year” to unfamiliar faces I encountered throughout my day. Most people responded cheerfully and wished me the same, with one exception. An older woman didn’t acknowledge me in any way. I was taken back. Did she not hear me? I was plenty loud enough. She must have been in her own world at that moment, I decided. Whatever was going on with her, I’m sure it wasn’t anything that a little connection couldn’t soothe.

 

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Welcome to Connected Karen

Welcome to my blog! Thank you for joining me as I chronicle my journey from a human being too often separate and solitary, to a truly connected woman – who sinks into and relishes close connections in every area of her life.

This has been a long time in the making.

I have a tendency – or more of a habit I’ve developed and mastered over many years – of distancing myself from others.

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